12.20.2007

Another Dead Blog

It's been months since my last post... months without anything to put here. I've been suffering laziness and writer's block. Besides i'm too much in love to write anything right now. I'm content getting lost in my own world with him. No need to worry about pathetic self proclaimed blogs.

So yes this is another one of my dead blogs among countless others. It was a good run I think.

Who knows I might post again... but until then I'm gonna be busy being in love.

9.27.2007

Just Being Random

Quote of the Day
"Would you rather have your rights violated or blow up?"
-Jose

I love my classmates. They never run out of interesting and funny things to say. Take what Jose has said for example, we were talking about airport security and how it violates the basic rights of people. Or at least thats what our teacher in english believes in. Our teacher is someone I hardly understand. But whatever. She's okay. I mean I can pretty much handle her. Anyway... and then Jose chirps that in. Oh so funny. I was really smirking, trying hard not to laugh out loud. And he said that with a really serious face which made it even funnier.

But there are lots of other funnier things but that's the one that really stuck to my head. I'm prolly gonna try to take notes next time. Haha!

Potty Mouth

I'm such a fucking potty mouth. I can't form a fucking sentence without fuck in it or shit or bitch or dammit... or.. well the list is long. That's what I get for watching South Park everyday. Like every fucking day. I cuss a lot. Like really a lot. My friend even said that I cuss a lot. It just became a habit. If shit happens, I cuss. If I trip my foot or I suddenly log out of ym, I cuss even harder. It's like I can't go by the day without cussing. If you've noticed from my older posts, I've cussed a lot of times. And it never gets any better. I dont know why but cussing somehow makes me feel better.

A lot of people gets really surprised when they hear me cuss. Probably because it doesnt seem becoming of someone like me. Someone who looks really... gentle and shit. Well surprise surprise. There are more than meets the eye. I know I look well... innocent and shit but guess what I'm a terrible potty mouth. Like I cuss more than all my family members combined. Like shit yeah! It even seems like every minute I have to cuss. Its some sort of ritual or habit for me.

Fucking south park. Corrupting my innocent and fragile mind. *sarcasm*

9.20.2007

Loneliness Attack

I feel so damn lonely.

This is the most terrible feeling ever. It's just so goddamn awful. I hate feeling like this at all. I don't know why all of a sudden I had a sudden attack of loneliness. At first I didn't know I was feeling this at all, I just began displaying symptoms of it and it dawned on me why I was feeling particularly down. Well of course there are symptoms. First, you begin to crave to be alone and then staring off into space, your mind racing with depressing thoughts. It's always the same but then it dawns on you why you are suddenly acting that way. For me, I found out that I was really feeling lonely.

Curse that Bridget Jones movie.

I was really doing fine before I watched that wrethced movie. And then I heard what Bridget Jones said on the last part of the movie, "I finally found my happy ending". Like what the fuck! This is why I hate romantic movies. It makes you reexamine your life particularly your love life. And it makes you hate yourself and your life. Then you start asking yourself will you ever be truly happy and all those crappy shit. And then you start wishing for the nth time to have at least a shred of happiness in your damn fucking life! But that's not going to happen. Oh no, because so far, you've suffered through enough heartbreaks to make you stop believing in love. And you're afraid to trust again because you're afraid to get hurt but in the same time you want just someone to love and take care of you.

About this time, you'll realize how pathetic you are and how stupid and lame and corny and well just plain pathetic you are. And then finally you'll stop with your nonsense and get on with your pathetic life.

Dammit!

9.18.2007

Dreams and Inward Journeys

"I think that dreams are a way that people's minds illustrate the nature of their problems. Or maybe even illustrate the answers to their problems in symbolic language"

Stephen King


Everything is so surreal.

Like I'm still in this dream like state and reality is not what I perceive it to be. Even now, typing seems so trivial and unrealistic that I must still be dreaming. The dream felt so real that it left a bitter taste in my mouth. I've never had a feeling before like this. I do remember it quite vividly but the details are vague. I just remember gelo, a guy, ate karen, sinks, parties, eyes and a dozen more.

Thinking about how dreams represent things in our subconscious, I took things in perspective. Relating what I dreamt to what I have now. I'm not sure of my interpretations. But these dreams somehow enlightened me. As to what, I don't know.

It's an amazing coincidence that I get this dream now. In class, we have been talking about dreams and their meanings. But then again, I've never believed in coincidences.

9.17.2007

I'm back... sort of

School has been stressing me up to the point that I actually get sick. Now, I don't you have ever heard of someone getting sick from studying too much. But if not, yeah I'd be the first. Odd as it sounds I've been studying my ass to death. I know, I know. This is not like me at all, studying and all that crap. Anyone who's ever known me and been my classmate would know that I have the laziest ass in the planet! Like literally. I don't review until 5 mins before the quiz, I copy homeworks 2 mins before checking, I let someone write my name, Christ's sake! And don't get me started on what I do at home, it's too tempting.

I was also in some sort of writer's block, if you may. I couldn't think of anything to put in here. I would start typing then pause then type again, another pause... type again and another long pause... then click the save button and that's it. I didn't have the "right inspiration", so to speak. Hey but that doesn't mean I'm inspired or whatever. Somehow, I just have something to say. It's like I'm no longer a constipated writer (someone, for me, who's having writer's block). Thank God for that.

Now I do wish that this continues until I can write that damn essay our english teacher is making us write.